Dear Daughter,
You are going to be 13 soon, a teenager. A young adult.
Soon you will leave home. (precisely 5 yrs time) I know its a scary thought. And I ain't going to sugar coat it. In the next 5 years you will have all the support you can from us. If you choose to study further. I will be burning the midnight oil with you. If you choose not to... you will HAVE to start to work. If that happens, then you will have to be independent. I am not that mom who will support all your whims and pay for your wants, thus driving home the point that there indeed are no free lunches in this world. Coz, my dear daughter, there aren't any. Sooner you learn that, that much easier this life will be for you. You have five years to decide...While you are at it... I think I will make your room into a studio for my art work :)
You are a wonderful and beautiful child, you always have been. I was not even remotely as good are you are now. (No wonder my mother wishes your were her daughter!). I’ve known you for almost 13 years, and you are way way more awesome than I could ever imagine my daughter to be... even when I kept praying for a girl child. Always remember, if someone doesn't understand that... then that's their problem... never yours.
Never ever, consider me as an idol/example. You and I are like chalk and cheese. You have a different personality, I have my own. We don't have to like/dislike the same things/people. I give you all the freedom to choose your own destiny, values and devils. However, the fallout of this is: You have to own all your decisions, the good, the bad and even the ugly ones. I take no responsibility whatsoever.
Whether you choose to become a high flying corporate woman, a bartender, a belly dancer, a struggling artist or just a stay home mother... I will never judge you. It's not in my place to interfere in any of your life choices.
Remember, it was our duty to bring you up as a good human being. It is not an investment towards our future. I don't expect you to take care of me and provide for my old age, similarly I don't expect you to shape your life hoping for an inheritance from us. What we earn is for our future, and to ensure that we don't burden you in your future.
Whatever path you choose for yourself, remember, I will always be your there for you 24x7. I will laugh with you and cry with you in your sorrow. I will be ready with my advise if you so seek, but never extend it uninvited. However, remember I will always have my own life and not be there to help you at the snap of your fingers. I don't have to, neither will I, sacrifice my personal space for every comfort of yours. I can. But don't HAVE to.
As you grow up you will realize that there is no formula for success or to avoid failure. You can't control every situation. You can do everything right and still have a crappy life while at the same time do all things wrong and still end up with a fairy-tale life. The only thing that you can control is being honest to yourself. Never lie to your own self. Learn to understand yourself. Your needs. Your happiness. Only when you are truly happy can you be happy for others.
Remember, ever action of yours will have a consequence. You will never be able to foresee them. But try and be prepared for every conceivable outcome that you can imagine. The more number of outcomes you can imagine that much more easier it will be for you to decide upon each course of action that you take.
I’ve enumerated 8 points that I consider as life hacks. But, as I said above, you are not me. Don’t compare yourself to me. Don’t think that our lives should or can correspond in every way. I have lived my life on my own terms, I would expect the one person I have brought into this world to do the same too. Go live your life on your own terms.
8a. Just don’t expect me to fix your mistakes.
8b. And never ignore my calls, how many ever times I call you in the day.
