All Things Happy

                      Pic courtesy


My morning tea... sitting in my balcony. Solving The Bangalore Times Sudoku.

The greens against the grey monsoon sky.

Conversations with strangers in a pub.

Con-call with my besties. 

Cuddling up with my daughter and husband.

Shaking the leaves of trees after the rains and feeling the residual water on my face.

Late night "Blast from past" on the radio. 

Aroma of my Mom's cooking. 

Sound of the jets' take off.

A kickass haircut from Raju (my favorite hairdresser).

A great house party where all we do is laugh like mindless freaks.

The look on my daughter's face when she comes home after acing an test.

Waking up to the early morning alarm. And staying in bed.

Sitting in a room full of people lost in my own thoughts.

When I am alone and still not lonely.

Planning for that trip that I know I am not gonna take. 

Reading Sex and The City Quotes.

Laughing with my kid sister. 

When even after 15 years my husband still makes me laugh. 

These are just some of my favorite things. Things that make me want to live another day. Things that reinstate my belief that I am lucky. Things that give me strength and keeps me ticking.  

One Serving of Memory Coming Up

When you have a deadline to meet, what’s the most logical thing to do? Take out all old letters and pictures and browse through them.

I love looking through old albums. The joy of holding a photo in your hand can never be replaced by the click of the mouse.

Going through the hundreds of photos that my husband and I have between us... I realized memories are always happy, it's upon us how we want to retain them.

“Memories are wonderful things, if you don't have to deal with the past.” – Before Sunset

Every single photo I saw or letter I read brought a smile to my face. Until I allowed my mind to wander. And then the sinking of the heart started. Because every-time the mind wandered it stumbled upon a time in the past that I stashed away as an unpleasant memory. 

I am still learning, and it will take me a lifetime I know. It will most definitely take me a life time to learn to isolate the memories from the experiences. Memories are always happy. Experiences are pleasant or unpleasant. Experience of the past shape our today. Memories are like the umpteenth reruns of our lives. 

If we are alive and breathing then our life has been so far. How can then, the reruns be bad? 

A lost friend... a broken heart... a drunken night... are all testimony of the fact that you have lived your life. Let go of the past. Embrace your today. It's a memory waiting to take shape for your tomorrow. 

The Inner Voice

I was arguing tooth and nail with my friend and then mid-sentence I lost my chain of thought. I lost interest in the argument. 

It was then that it hit me that I have this tendency to argue most passionately about things that I am least convinced about. They are mostly in support of decisions that I know were mistakes.

I wonder if it’s the same case with all of us.

Do we argue to defend our decisions coz we believe in them?

Or do we try and sound most passionate about something and argue the loudest so we can drown out own inner voice?

In my attempt to stand my ground in support of my beliefs am I drowning my own voice?

If I realize what I did wrong, but still don’t admit that… does that not make me a hypocrite? Similar to all those I criticize, who don’t practice what they preach.

Steve Jobs said “Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

But it’s important to know when you are drowning your own inner voice.  Coz nothing can be worse than self inflicted repression. 

Sum of All Fears

I am normally always happy and looking forward to something or the other. But I too, at times, have various creepy thoughts getting into my head. A strong believer in the laws of attraction, all thanks to my best friend who introduced me to it, I try and not get affected by these negative thoughts. 

But we all have days when we are sitting alone, and slowly these thoughts from the back of our mind come to the foreground. 

I fear the day I will be alone without the shoulders of my closest friends and family to lean on. 

I fear losing both or either of my parents. I am what I am coz of them. They keep me grounded. Many of my actions are dictated by how my parents will react to them. With them gone I fear what I may become. 

Until today anything that I have really focused on I have been able to achieve. However, the fear of failure pushes me to go that extra mile every single time. 

Last but not the least is one of my biggest fears of seeing my child hurt. Emotionally. Physically. I am a strong woman. I just hope that when testing times are here. I can remain strong even then. 

The list,albeit not endless, but is quite exhaustive. 

Then suddenly I remember what my best friend says... "Don't attract it babe!"

That's when I get up and tell myself... I refuse to be the sum of all my fears, I am way more than that. I am a sum of all my ideas and all my laughter and all the love I have in my life. My fears are there just to ensure that I dont't spill over. 

But I, most definitely, am NOT the Sum of All My Fears! 

The Story Tellers...

Do we choose our experiences? Or do they choose us? 

Have you ever noticed how in a party there is one or two people who have all the funny stories? Who have all the correct contextual  anecdotes?

Are they making them up? Not really. They are what we call the seekers. They seek experiences. For them life is all about the stories. The little memories. They are the story tellers. 

For them a day without a story is a day wasted. Every conversation with them starts with either a "Guess what?..." or a "There was this one time..." 

And we all gather around them listening to their stories and life experiences and making memories that last. 

They teach us to touch life, to feel it. To live everyday as though its our last. 

They seek out their life story, and not the other way round. The day each of us learn to live life that way, is when we have truly embraced life for what it is. 

Me and My Girlfriends

We all have friends. Some of us are lucky to have made true friends, while some confuse acquaintances to be friends. I belong to the former category.

My girlfriends and I are as different as chalk and cheese. But these are women I have immense respect and feel unending love for. They are women who have taught me what life is all about. They have never stood by me, but always a step behind, ensuring that I never fall and hurt myself.

There is the one who always says... go ahead take that leap. Its ok to fall on your face. I will restructure it :) She is my launchpad.

There is the one who says... Hey! don't, you are gonna hurt yourself. She is my harness

There is the one that says... Hmm... really? Ok.. try this as well... One of your many phases I see... Thats my landing bag.

They are the my pillars of strength, who maintain a distance but keep the roof from falling on my head. They make me laugh, when I am tensed. They send me flowers when I am low. They are my 2am call, when I need to vent.

Girls, I am lucky to have you in my life. Without all of you my life would be devoid of any stories. Whats a life without experiences?

Decades long friendships don't just happen. They are like a retirement plan. One needs to invest in them. :) ... We all invest and how!